All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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