True but thats because hes a fetus.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
