Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Please, let me fuck your mom
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
