There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
