i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
