We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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