I've blown a few things in my day
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
