Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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