Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
