You really coming over, don't trick.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
