he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
