I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think your dad took our porno
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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