You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He has the fingertips of a God
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