piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
