I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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