that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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