she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize