Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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