What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
