You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
