Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
