Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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