Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
