just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
