Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
