I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
