We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
