It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
two words: eviction party
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
