I think I am morally bankrupt
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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