Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
