operation have a gay friend backfired
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
