I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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