You made me cry and you don't even care
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize