I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize