Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
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I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
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Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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