so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize