Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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