I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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