Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
