Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
