one two three fourrrrnication!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize