just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
cat food counts as protein by the way
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
