We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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