Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
