i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
