He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
