Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
