so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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