Im at strip club and am horny
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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