Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize