I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's blow job season.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
