dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize