I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
