he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She's the barista slut.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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